The days moved strangely. Tethered to home by the need to be nearby for Mosby I found myself not only cleaning but cleaning out. Mindful that each day was a step closer to the time of parting awareness of the impermanence of life became foremost in my mind. It is easy to view possessions with much less attachment in such an atmosphere. The boxes filled with donations to the charity thrift stores and space opened up in the house. I also found that time opened up and it seemed too precious to waste on anything connected to the world outside. I spent it instead on keeping myself calm and positive. The other cats knew Mosby was sick, if for no other reason than his change of scent. Even I could detect this.
There wass no need to make matters worse by filling the house with negative emotional energy. I listened to the Green Tara mantra version by Su Ching Yen. Her voice is beautiful and it is impossible to be sad when listening. I listened to the music of singing bowls, and falling rain tracks, and monks chanting Om Mani Padme Hum. The cats clustered around the laptop and listened and fell asleep, including Mosby, although he tried to show his independence by sunning in the dining room window. In the morning he would sit in my lap in the kitchen while I had my coffee. Then he was still eating and still getting hungry but bowlfuls at a time had gradually become spoonfuls at a time. Time, time, time. We could close the windows and the curtain to keep out the heat of the day, we could play soft music to keep the sadness at bay but time was a different matter. We could only color it’s quality. I believe cats are fortunate in their ability to live in the present moment. While I know Mosby was bothered by his illness he was not anticipating all the things that I was.
So the mantra of Green Tara became more than just soothing music. In the Tibetan tradition Green Tara embodies both intense compassion and readiness for action. She offers protection from fear and the eight obscurations: lions (pride), wild elephants (delusion/ignorance), fires (hatred and anger), snakes (jealousy), bandits and thieves (wrong views, including fanatical views), bondage ( avarice and miserliness), floods ( desire and attachment), and evil spirits and demons ( deluded doubts). Who better to appeal to for both Mosby and I to prepare us for what was to come, me for the sorrow of life without him and he for protection and guidance in passing into that other world.
.What better symbol of all that we shared than the red lotus, the lotus of love and compassion, the lotus of the heart in it’s original purity What better thing to contemplate to remind me of his precious gift of unconditional love. Green Tara. Red lotus